I dedicate my first post to all the hopeful bunch of female humans.
When you make up your mind and are absolutely ready to take that one step which can topple your life, for good, your sixth sense strikes to snooze the idea. The flashback runs with the visuals. The worse of everything is right in front of your eyes. One by one, chapter by chapter the whole process converted into weeks, months, years, decades, you wonder. It hurts you no end, the tears don’t flow this time but the silent does, the dark does. It burns your heart, the feelings evaporated with the heat of the arguments, the love escaped through a fire escape route, the smoke from the veins begins to hit your eyes, you feel half-finished. You wish for some water, some for the mouth, some for the eyes, some for the soul & mostly for the heart. Does anything else really matter at this point, it’s pointless, you are certain. You look at the ceiling, you see everything but the ceiling. It’s all clear.
In a few seconds, another flashback, senses half asleep, mind & eyes coordinate to pay attention. You start receiving vague signals, a smile rests on your face, a slide show of wonderful memories begins, more slides keep coming up from nowhere, the smile becomes broader & reaches your eyes, they feel lighter, they send the same message to the heart, and finally the connection rebuilds. You breathe, breathe, breathe, consciousness knocks & knocks until you’re up. You say, “This can’t be it, this is not it”.
It’s the same day, once again.
It’s the same me, once again.
It’s the same you, once again.
And it’s the same us, once again!
The moon continues to stare at me,
Yet, the darkness continues to wrap me,
The pain flies through the air,
And it finally has me, once again!
My heart cries, there’s no noise around,
My feet crawl back to my body, they beg for warmth,
My stammering arms, call my knees, they hug,
My eyes speak, the damp swollen words, once again!
My thrashed soul goes missing as I look into the mirror,
I see through my cupboards, miles away, yet don’t see,
The web of the endless curtains suffocate me,
My door knob is jammed, once again!
The shoes, toppled, stay directionless,
The scarf, moist, stays breathless,
The gloves, tangled, stay mirthless,
The pillow, crushed, stays restless, once again!
The plants wave at me, as always,
I feel the pure & unconditional love, when the leaves move,
I gather my pieces, crawl to my window,
A new flower hiding behind, secretly passing me my vibes,
Leaving behind the fear, I open my eyes, once again!
I look out, I look up, I look far & I look beyond,
The mountains talk back to me, stay steady is the message I receive,
The clouds look down at me, we’re clearing up, is what they write for me,
The stars shimmer, they vanish, they twinkle, they diminish, nothing’s constant, they smile at me,
The ocean waves to me, tides will be at your side is what it splashes on me, once again!